When our value depends on approval, each look becomes an examination. We can then spend a lot of time adjusting our image rather than living what matters to us. The book proposes to identify this need for validation in everyday gestures.
It does not ask to become indifferent to others. Relationship remains essential. It invites us to distinguish the pleasure of sharing from the need to prove its value. Trust here takes on the meaning of a more honest relationship to oneself, in which imperfection does not prohibit action.